All married couples should learn the art of battle as
they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and
honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive,
and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership. (Ann Landers)
Having a good marriage requires work and commitment from
both husband and wife. Without both people directing energy toward making
their marriage work, it won't. High divorce rates prove that many have lost
the desire to go the longer, more difficult route. Many couples today cheat
themselves out of a fulfilling relationship because they base their
commitment to one another on the feelings of love rather than on a decision
to love one another. Feelings fluctuate with the weather. One day, because
of the good fortune surrounding the circumstances of our relationship we are
on top of the world. The next day, because of some difficulty we have
encountered as a couple, it seems the world is on top of us. Emotion alone
is a very unreliable foundation for a lasting and happy marriage. Many
partners are satisfied with one another when they feel in love; and totally
bewildered when the emotion of love no longer sweeps them off their feet. At
that point some divorce and others become involved in an affair. Multitudes
just stay married and fall in and out of love with every change in the
seasons of life.
How do we control the feelings that lead to
discontentment? By forcing our feeling to follow our commitment, instead of
allowing our commitment to follow our feelings. Our Grandfathers intuitively
practiced this principle, saying to themselves, "We got into this
relationship because we wanted to and we are going to make it work." Most of
them made it work and were content in the relationship they developed.
Couples often enter marriage with the allusion that they
have found the perfect partner and everything will be perfect. It is almost
humanly impossible for a husband to live up to 100% of the expectation the
wife has envisioned for him in the relationship. The wife will not make
every dream her husband had for the marriage come true. Happiness comes to
those who are willing to stay together and work at it. The Bible states two
principles in Ephesians 5:22-32 that govern success in relationships which
have never failed. The first, wives, respect and honor your husbands. And
the second, husbands, love your wives. When a husband loves his wife, and
discovers the practical ways he can show her love, warm feelings are
continually nurtured in his heart for her. When a wife honors her husband,
the emotion of love is stirred in her heart for him. Love is a commitment
that we make to one another—a commitment to honor our relationship and seek
happiness in it. We must not expect more from our marriage than we give in
it—that is selfishness and selfishness is the cause of many marital
problems. Marriage is a sacrifice on both sides of the sexes that yields
dividends far surpassing the sacrifices made. "A successful marriage
requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." (Mignon
McLaughlin)
|