Stories and funny church jokes that will give you a smile and
stories that will make you laugh
Stories about children , family , Pastors
and more.
A Christian father was approached by his small son who
told him proudly, 'I know what
the Bible means!'
His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you
'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, 'I do know!'
'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?'
'That's easy, Daddy...' the young boy replied
excitedly,'
It stands for
'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
=======
There was a very gracious Christian lady who was mailing an old
family Bible to her
brother in another part of the country.
'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal
clerk.
'Only the Ten
Commandments.'
answered the lady.
========
'Somebody has said
there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say,
'Good morning, Lord,' and there
are those who wake up in the morning and say,'Good Lord,
it's morning.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A minister
parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city
because he
was short of time and
couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he puts a note
under the windshield wiper that read:
'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park
here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our
trespasses.'
When he returned, he found a citation from a police
officer along with this note '
I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give
you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into
temptation.'
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday
and announced to
his congregation: 'I have good
news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough
money to pay for our new building program.
The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.'
========
While driving in
Pennsylvania
, a Christian family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner
of the carriage
obviously had a
sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand
printed sign...
'Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass..
Caution: Do not step in exhaust.'
========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a
question, 'Boys and girls,
what do we know about God?'
A hand shot up in the air. 'He is an artist!' said the
kindergarten boy. 'Really? How do you know?'
the teacher asked.. 'You know - Our Father, who does
art in Heaven.... '
========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with
gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant
worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant
pump. 'Reverend,' said the young man, 'I'm so sorry
about the delay... It seems as if everyone waits until
the
last minute to get ready for a long trip.' The minister
chuckled, 'I know what you mean.
It's the same in my business.'
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the
church, and the center
of attention.
========
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter
what the lesson was about. The daughter
answered, 'Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt.'
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the
day,
the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what
that morning's Sunday
school lesson was
about.
He said 'Be not a afraid, thy comforter is coming.'
========
The minister was
preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the
congregation to come up with
more money than they were expecting for repairs to the
church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had
been brought in at the last minute. The substitute
wanted to know what to play 'Here's a copy of the
service,' he said impatiently. 'But, you'll have to
think
of something to play after I make the announcement about
the finances.' During the service, the minister
paused and said, 'Brothers
and Sisters, we
are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as
much as
we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can
pledge $100 or
more, please stand up'.
At that moment, the substitute organist played 'The
Star Spangled Banner.'
And that is how the substitute became the regular
organist!
=========
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to
see a joke,
To get some humor out
of life,
And
pass it on to other folk!
